"Losing a child means carrying an almost unbearable grief, experienced by many but talked about by few."
Meghan Markle opened up in a way few royals do, writing a personal essay for the New York Times in which she shared that she suffered a miscarriage earlier this year, which resulted in the loss of her second pregnancy.
The Duchess of Sussex described the exact moment in July that it happened, while she was taking care of her and Prince Harry's first child, one-year-old Archie.
Meghan wrote:
After changing his diaper, I felt a sharp cramp. I dropped to the floor
with him in my arms, humming a lullaby to keep us both calm, the cheerful
tune a stark contrast to my sense that something was not right.
I
knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second.
Hours later, I lay in a hospital bed, holding my husband’s hand. I felt the clamminess of his palm and kissed his knuckles, wet from both our tears. Staring at the cold white walls, my eyes glazed over. I tried to imagine how we’d heal.
Meghan went on in her piece to write about the big
difference it made for her last year when a journalist in South Africa asked
if she was OK. "My off-the-cuff reply seemed to give people permission to
speak their truth," she wrote. "But it wasn’t responding honestly that
helped me most, it was the question itself."
"Sitting in a
hospital bed, watching my husband’s heart break as he tried to hold the
shattered pieces of mine, I realized that the only way to begin to heal is
to first ask, 'Are you OK?'" she continued.
The Duchess wrote
about the shared losses this country has gone through this year, from the
many lives lost to COVID-19 to the death of Breonna Taylor, George Floyd and
countless others from police brutality.
"Losing a child means carrying an almost unbearable grief,
experienced by many but talked about by few," she wrote toward the end of
her piece. "Some have bravely shared their stories; they have opened the
door, knowing that when one person speaks truth, it gives license for all of
us to do the same. We have learned that when people ask how any of us are
doing, and when they really listen to the answer, with an open heart and
mind, the load of grief often becomes lighter—for all of us. In being
invited to share our pain, together we take the first steps toward
healing."